The countdown is coming to a close and this week is full of appointments and tests. I am starting to worry now more than ever about what it will be like after surgery. How will life be different? Although every time I think this way, I think it has to be better than now.
I try not to ask the doctor lots of questions because I know the surgery is needed at this point, but worry creeps into my mind especially in the quiet or late at night. I started to read books but sometimes that doesn't help with the medicine my mind gets fuzzy and I feel more scared.
Recently, I have been reflecting on good memories with family, my teammates, and friends to get me through. I am finding connections through the blog and feel less alone now. While I am scared these memories and being able to express myself are getting me through right now.
I feel more emotional now and find my support system to be my strength and hope. I feel lucky that I have this system and the memories I share with others to fall back on and even more to look forward to after my surgery.