It’s taken me quite some time to get to the point where I’d acknowledge how awful you truly are. You have tried to break me down every day, nagging and hurting me-taking away the things that I had come to love and enjoy.
Endo, you've tortured me and ruined far too many days and I’m sure there will be more days like today in the future. We will be fighting, battling, arguing-but both of us are stubborn, neither wanting to quit. You have been vile enough to ruin holidays, celebrations, sporting events, even sports themselves, relationships with both friends and family, and came very close to stealing my passion for patients, nursing and the medical field.
While you have tried, and continue to fight me, I am writing to tell you of your failures. I have learned to adapt to the hostile environment you've created within me. I have learned how I can avoid your harsh treatment—more importantly, I have learned to fight and survive.
You have taught me how strong I can be when pushed. I have graduated, fostered relationships, and learned to recognize how you work within me, much to your dismay I’m sure. I went through a period of time where I was ashamed of you, of how you made me feel, of the emotional, physical, and mental impact that you had on my life. You had taken hold with a tight grip and refused to let go.
However, I am no longer ashamed. You will not take over and run my life. I have been given one shot at this and I will live my life to the fullest. Adaptation is a part of life and you have helped me to become better at adapting. I have changed who I am, who I socialize with, what activities I participate in, and the fashion that I wear. I have learned about myself along this process, about those who care, and those things that help me to fight you (even something as simple as a scarf around my mouth and nose in the cold seasons).
I have found my calling, not only in the medical community, but in nursing and I will not quit. I have educated myself on how best to beat you down every day as you have tried so hard to do to me. I spend numerous hours researching, learning, and teaching those around me so that more will know of your evil ways and help me to become healthy again. You will not keep me silent. You may be able to slow me down, but you will not stop me. I will help each and every patient possible to defeat you.